The third and final part of the hikikomori series is a hard dive into metaphysics. What do you do when the real world completely fails to get you, and your OCD keeps trying to convince you that you are the ultimate evil? You escape to a place where human rules don't apply - the astral and the spirit world. As an otherkin who literally experiences their non-human identity, I have a massive problem. Trapped in a human shell, I lose 90 percent of my emotional expression. A Zebroid is a shapeshifter communicating through body stripes, ears, and a tail. Without them, I just stand there frozen, and people assume I am just weird.
Trying to find friends is an absolute disaster. You drop the mask, start talking honestly about experimental magic, and people suddenly vanish. Getting ghosted for being real is the standard. I have been through a ton of psychiatric screenings and no one ever diagnosed me with psychosis, simply because I know exactly how absurd it sounds to normies. My magic isn't some TikTok fairy tale - I have a shamanism mentor, and I rely on actual experience and quantum mechanics, not pop-esoteric internet trash.
I wanted to study religious studies at Jagiellonian University to research this academically, but I failed my high school finals, so that plan is dead. I don't fit in with system communities or therians because most of them don't get my perspective. But honestly? I genuinely don't care. I recorded this because I am done pretending to be someone I am not. If this scares someone off, they are doing me a favor. And if anyone out there relates - high key nice to meet you.
